I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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