splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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