Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i would punch a child for taco bell
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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