So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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