trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
