wakey wakey hands off snakey
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I cut my penus on the lid.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
