she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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