He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
