dude i'm inner monologue high
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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