i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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