she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We need to rekindle our bromance
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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