no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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