I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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