dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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