I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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