Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I think I just sharted jello shots
the raccoons are back...
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