Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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