nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
