I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I stole a fireplace last night.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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