David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
