Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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