? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
