Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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