Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?