We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on