Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
operation harelip BJ is a go
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
