Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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