We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
