where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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