the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
