her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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