I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
