Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
