Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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