"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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