How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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