If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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