i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We're too hungover to prance.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
