you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
