If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
