You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
