It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
