i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
