they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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