I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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