Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone