He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
