i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...