And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
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I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
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I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.