when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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