All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
