Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He passed out mid-signature
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
