if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
