so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
