dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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