The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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