Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
