She is in my trunk
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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