I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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