What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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