I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
