beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
