they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
