the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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