It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
