i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
