I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
