Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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